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The Lonely Island: ‘The Wack Album’ Review

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The Lonely Island, The Wack Album, Andy Samberg, YOLOComedy incorporating the sense of sound is suspicious to my discerning tastes. Certainly, I am a snob in this sense. While no man is an island, Sirs Schaffer, Samberg and Taccone make the Wackest case that a triumvirate of tickling talent can be the loneliest of lands encased in water in their newest musical-comedy endeavor. Here is the review for that most Wack of Albums.

Dramatic Intro: A piano plays in the background while increasingly hyperbolic statements transform from a concerned motherly sounding voicing calling the band “Satanists” to a news reporter’s voice announcing “Lonely Island was beamed to death by their own dicks.”

Go Kindergarten: If nothing else certainly some creative rhyming: “ambidextrous” with “checklist,” and “banana” with “stamina”

Diaper Money: A new gangsta anthem for all fathers that can afford the Pampers when it starts to rain.

Hugs: A trend develops. This is the third track that mocks the hardcore “thugishness” of rap juxtaposed next to a mundane, almost stupid topic.

YOLO: This track has Maroon 5’s Adam Levine, which means it is perfect. I’ve never heard the sincere usage of “YOLO.” Only mockery at its shallow ignorance. This song takes a literalization of the “You Only Live Once” motto and encourages that “you can never use enough Purell.”

Spell It Out: Andy literally spells out a song about having sex with pigs.

Where Brooklyn At?: Skit.

Semicolon: An educational song in which Lonely Island teaches the riff-raff of you non-English majors proper usage of semicolons.

I’m A Hustler: Possibly a milestone. Lonely Island opens up the game for gay and metrosexual men to rap about the social consciousness of their lives.

You Got That Look: The featured voices, Hugh Jackman and Kristen Wiig, are the most impressive words off this track.

Meet the Crew: Similar to “Semicolon” in that the band uses an open formula to expend as much wordplay and irony on the idea of the one subject; in this case rapping as a fictional character and play off that. i.e. “I’m Sick Eric, I’m always sick/You can catch me on the corner taking antibiotics.”

I Run NY: With so many rappers claiming to “run New York” the mayor (voiced by Samberg) writes his own rap to explain just how unglamorous a job that really is.

3-Way (The Golden Rule): Featuring Justin Timberlake, I want this track to be my own soapbox to proclaim that not only should Justin Timberlake be a permanent member of this group, but a cast member on SNL.

Spring Break Anthem: A lot more marrying and sexing gay dudes than your average spring break song.

I Don’t Give A Honk: I get it, rapping without curse words sounds terrible. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!

We Are A Crowd: I think they’re going for a self-conscious irony, but it’s really just not that funny.

I F****D My Aunt: This CD’s “Dick in a Box.” Smooth R&B melody with bass-heavy vocals and a song focusing on the penis, though there is more regret on behalf of the vocals this time.

We Need Love: Imagine if, on “The Dating Game,” Bachelors Nos. 1 and 2 had to rap convincing the girl to never ask them another question. This is that rap.

The Compliments: A reverse rap battle. Winner gets declared the best wingman.

Perfect Saturday: This may have a lot of fart/poop jokes, but I laughed like an idiot in the quiet of my own room to it.

You can buy “The Wack Album” by The Lonely Island on iTunes, or if you’re poor like me, head on over to their YouTube channel, where every “Wack Wednesday” they roll out a new video.

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